Confused

How do you know when you have made the right decisions in life? Where is the looking glass to the future?



I wish I knew all the answers. I wish it was easier.

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Manic Monday

Hi friends. Well it was a whirlwind weekend. Lots of learning, growing, deep conversation, and searching my soul for some answers.

Well I got to spend some time with some great people, and learn more about my friends, which is always an amazing experience. I love knowing more about people, their thoughts, views, and analyzing together. I think it brings people closer together.

I ate some great food, learned at school all day on Saturday (Equine Medicine Club Neuro Wetlab, and VERT Symposium training) and then got to spend some quality time with friends, even got to do some dancing!

It certainly wasn't as productive of a weekend as I would have liked, but it was full of learning nonetheless. The outside of class kind.

So now back to a stressful school week. The quiz I thought was on Friday is on Wednesday, and the exam that's on Friday is on 2 subjects when I thought it was just on 1. Great. And here I am blogging ;)

On that note, here are a few songs from the weekend. LOVE THEM ALL.


Such a great one a friend turned me onto this weekend. Actually to both of these first songs. Thanks :)





The last one I stole from HP and its a little scandalous, be forewarned of the nudity. At least just listen to it.

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Human-Animal Bond

I had to do some research on animal welfare for a class, and I came across this website which I chose to evaluate as part of the paper: http://www.vetsforequinewelfare.org/index.php

As I was writing my evaluation, I came across some videos of horse slaughter on this website, and I became upset by it, so here is what I wrote (not edited):

This website has many graphic photos and videos regarding horse slaughter and it is difficult to tell if these are worst-case-scenario depictions from unregulated facilities, or if these are depicting the best case for these horses in terms of slaughter. Prior to watching these videos myself, I was of the impression that horse slaughter might be a necessary evil with the numbers of horses being left without food, water, or shelter due to the overpopulation of horses and lack of financial resources. However, watching these videos has drastically changed my mind. The most disturbing part of these videos to me was not the captive bolt itself, but the level of stress the horses were undergoing prior to death. When we have been taught about slaughter of livestock for food, there seems to be a lot of research from people such as Temple Grandin as to how the cattle for example can be transported, and moved from trailer into the slaughter facility in the least stressed manner. And so I guess I ignorantly associated horse slaughter in the same light. That the horses perhaps walked in relatively calmly, were shot unconscious, and that it could be a humane way to end their lives. However, from watching these videos, I am acutely aware of the sensitivity of horses. Something I have always known, but didn’t put two and two together. Horses have to be DE-sensitized to most things before they feel less stressed. Humans, halters, trailers, saddles, bits, etc. So to think that you could for the first time, shove a horse into a chute and expect them to remain calm is stupid. These horses were falling down, slipping, doing whatever they could to try to escape because they knew whatever was happening to them was not going to end well. And that I couldn’t stand to watch. It is true that leaving a horse out to starve and die is not fair either. So as a future veterinarian do I decide to promote horse slaughter in the US as a means of decreasing the excess horse population, or do I decide to try to make an impact in those horses lives I CAN impact, my clients, those horse owners in my community? I think it is hard to saw what is worse, a starving horse, or a horse shoved onto a potentially 24 hour long trailer ride where he/she can be injured, and in that short time deprived of food and water, and then forced into a dark chute where a human stands overtop with a huge metal gun, and try with their last breath to escape their impending fate. In the short run, captive bolt is a fast and if done correctly, painless way to go (although judging from these videos, how accurate can you be with a horse rapidly moving his 200+ pound head around?), but are the pains and stresses before worth it? Obviously in practice, I would never suggest slaughter, but it’s the horses I won’t have control over I worry about. Those right now that might be homeless. Which would they prefer? I would prefer to starve. But I am a human with conscious thoughts. And horses are not people. But I think its clear they aren’t livestock either. And this human-animal bond class has made that even more apparent to me. Cattle, at least those that I have been exposed to, are raised with a purpose to provide meat or milk for humans. Horses on the other hand are our pets, our family members, and I for one am bonded to them. Even the crazies. So I leave you with this to think about. I for one need more information to form my proper opinion, but I think I know where I am headed. All the horses that have touched me, I could never send them knowingly into such a fate.

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Almost Lover

I am not sure what an almost lover is, but I recently discovered this song on my pandora station and thought I would share it. Its quite beautiful I think.

Back to the books :)

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Girlfriends

This is for my girlfriends, who have always been there for me :) (Skip to the end if you think the body of this post is too long...)

My girlfriends have always been a huge part of my life, and so I value them as I do my family. Since I was in kindergarten I can remember having a best friend. Annie Tran, kindergarten/1st grade. Then she told me I had fat fingers and that friendship crashed and burned. 2nd and 3rd grade was Ra-Ro (that was my nickname for her, hers for me was "Ya"). We were horse friends, and we lived 3 blocks apart. She moved away in 4th grade, yet until we were about 16 or 17 we each made a trip to see the other at least once a year. And we were pen pals, we made these great drawings to each other of islands we would like to live on. Most of them revolved around our pets, her guinea pig Roxie and my hamster, Hambone. Haha.

At my new school, from 4th-8th grade I had a best friend whom I still get along with like we never were apart. I only see her when I go home, but everytime we hang out its awesome, like no time ever past.

In high school I met Landy (nickname again). We have been best friends ever since. We spent almost every day together. We walked the dogs all the time, her Sami and my Marge. We went to a bed and breakfast in Calistoga one time and took the dogs as a weekend trip, so much fun. She taught me tennis and about humility. And she could always, and still does, tell me how it really is. No sugar coating.

In college I made a whole new group of amazing friends each one different and amazing in their own ways. Lins, the first real friend I made, probably single handedly one of the nicest people I have every met. We don't talk as much as I wish we did, but when we do its always so fun. DB- we met on the equestrian team and turned out we had ridden for the same trainer at different times back home. We are still very close now, and always have the most ridiculous stories and experiences together. K-rizz, what can I say? Met working on a project for school, never looked back. Who would have thought one rap song could bring two people so close. Even today we probably talk on a daily basis. Foodstamp- Another one of my fellow equine buddies, and who would have thought how far we have come? We always have the most awkward and silly times together!

And now vet school! So many new wonderful girlfriends I know will stay with me for many years to come.

And so here is the tribute, a few words for those of you in my life now and how you inspire me.

Foodstamp: You inspire me to work more patiently with my animals. I always try to think to myself, what would she do? You are patient, kind, and always do your research! Another way you inspire me, to take my education upon myself. Not just school, but life. If something in the house isn't working, to go look up what could be wrong and how to fix it. You inspire me to be resourceful. And you remind me to tone it down sometimes. When I get to hot headed or need to be more understanding of someone else or their situation, you can remind me. And you are very selfless. If I am out till 2am I can count on you to come look for me. And you never judge me. You put your friends and family first. And we are some of the goofiest people. I could not get through vet school without you!

HP: You inspire me to be more adventurous! You know that you want to see the world so you make it happen. I think so many people let what could be experiences pass them by, but you seek them out. And you figure out how to make them happen. I think we could all use a little more adventure in our lives. And you love with all your heart. You take risks. You inspire me to have more passion in my life.

NF: You inspire me to be a more organized, stronger, and healthier person. You know who you are, and you embrace yourself. You said you have spent your life making something out of nothing. That in itself is amazing. You have made your life what it is. That is something very few of us can say. You inspire me to be a better student, to organize and to focus. And to improve my omlette making skills. You know what is important to you in your life and you don't compromise what you believe because school is too busy or whatever other excuses most of us make. I will try to make less excuses, and just get work done!

KRizz: You inspire me to be a better friend. You are always the most thoughtful, send me cards, gifts, thoughtful messages. I often feel selfish or that I do not reciprocate, so you inspire me to work harder at my friendships and put my friends in front of other things in my life. And to be more open and less fiesty. You have created your own path, you have overcome hard times, and are an incredibly strong person. And you are one of the most genuine people I know. I always try to think when I meet people or am talking to someone I am not super close with, how would you interact with them? You make anyone you are talking to feel important and you always are genuinely interested in others and how you can help them or just listen to them. And you make the best chai tea with extra foam :)

Landy: What can I say? Its been a trip. You followed your heart, literally. And you are living a life I will probably never have any real idea of. You have made true sacrifices for love, you are focused on your education, and you are one of the most selfless people I know. You are the most down to earth, kind, and caring person. And after all this time, I know I can tell you anything. You will never judge me. And you tell me how it is. You make time for me. Something I wish I was better at for you. I could sit in a room in silence with you or talk for hours. But it always feels like home. Even though we can never pick a movie to watch and like to fight over the radio, I would sit on a couch or road trip with you any day. I miss you all the time. I can't wait for your return.

And so my friends, I love you.

Goodnight.

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Little jewels

Literally.  I found this website from a wedding blog I like to visit.  http://www.andreabonelli.com/
This jeweler is based in San Francisco and makes beautiful jewelry from recycled pieces.  I think I would love a wedding ring like this one:

It seems so elegant and simple.  And its eco-friendly!  As much as I think something spectacular from Tiffany's would be fun, I feel like a wedding ring symbolizes your love for one another and a committment and so I have a hard time thinking that spending gobs of money on that is really following in that same symbolization.  But I also think its a very personal decision, and to some women a fancier ring is more important to them.  But I love that these rings are beautiful but also wouldn't break the bank.  Convenient! 

I also LOVE this song:



And this one too:



The Wailin' Jennys from the first video is basically all I play on my Pandora currently. LOVE them. So folky. So beautiful.

This Snow Patrol song is BEAUTIFUL and maybe a little emo too. Sometimes that is just the combo you need. Last night at our "study" party, minus the stuyding, we were all hanging out listening to music and this song came on and I remembered how much I love it. Listening to it right now. I think its going to be on repeat for a while.

Well I just picked up ChaCha from school, now we are going to try to study. So much to study! But thats what I signed up for right?

PS this blog was supposed to be something completely different, very emo, as I have feeling that way a lot lately. Maybe just confused. As you can see it wouldn't have been a fun blog. So I hope you liked this one!

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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! 

I hope you all had an enjoyable holiday! 

Here at our household, a good time was had by all.  For Christmas Eve, a friend from school came down and we made an endeavor of creating the most intense cake ever!  According to my Bon Apetite magazine, it was supposed to be a simple 3 layer spiced chocolate torte with chocolate ribbons.  Perhaps I should have thought twice when I read the title.   Nonetheless, I wanted to have it for Christmas dinner and thankfully decided I should start it on Christmas Eve.  Well, I dragged my friend into it, and we worked on it for about 5 hours on Friday and then another 3 or 4 hours on Saturday.  Sheesh!  On Christmas Eve we went out to dinner with some family friends at a nice Italian restaurant and then came home, made some cookies real fast, and ate them along with some jelly beans "belly flops" that my friend had brought, while we watched Home Alone 2.  I think my Mom made it through about half the movie before falling asleep on the floor haha. 

Here are some photos of an evening walk in the park with Marge and Landy:

Here are some photos of THE CAKE:

Mare and her loot:

The tree:

Christmas morning was nice, we opening stockings, made a frittata, waffles and fruit for breakfast, and then opened presents from the tree.  Marge got so many presents she got tired of opening them!  I found this really cheap pack of 6 dog toys at Walgreens and wrapped them all individually, so Marge got to open a lot of things.  I also got this stuffing-free fox toy for her that is really too long for her and when she drags it from its head, she trips on its body, oops!  But she loves to thrash it around while growing at it, so I think it was a successful purchase (I mean Santa present).

Christmas dinner was with the same family friends, quite fun, and then my best friend who lives in Ecuador came over and we all had cake and then played Trivial Pursuit, except that the game is from the 70s so no one knows any of the answers! 

On Sunday I tried out my Christmas present, a road bike!  Very exciting!  But I need a lot of practice, I am not used to the toe clips, and I fell over when trying to stop.  A new skill to learn.  How to successfully stop on the bike without falling over.  Step 1.  We'll go from there. 

Yesterday I went up to my friend's Cabin in Forestville, CA and we went to a nice restaurant called the Applewood.  It was quite tasty and we came home, drank hot chocolate and played lots of the card game Hearts.  Today we drove to Sebastapol and wandered around town into lots of adorable shops, book stores, cooking stores, and had a lovely lunch.  We came back to the city, went for a walk in the beautiful afternoon crisp weather, and then made some good chocolate chip cookies.  All in all, a good weekend :)

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